Thursday, May 16, 2013
I find myself envious of my girlfriend, and I know this is hard to admit, actually it's always hard to admit that everything isn't going perfectly in a relationship, at least for me it is. But I do envy her, Sweetheart is almost everything I'm not, she's very flirty, fun confident, and above all very sexy. I however, am sweet, kind, adorable and naive.
Now for Husband he gets to have one of each kind with the two of us, because in the ways we are different we tend to compliment each other's personalities, but for me that sometimes leaves me feeling inadequate or like I'm not good enough to please Husband. I know it's rather ridiculous especially since Husband loves me, and he loves Sweetheart, And I love both Husband and Sweetheart as well but I still feel like I am not good enough.
I tend to blame it on my social awkwardness as to why I want to be sexy and flirty to Husband so bad, but I always tend to fall short, and both Husband and Sweetheart think it's adorable as to how I try to be flirty.
What I really need to do is just stay in my niche, what I'm good at, but I see their relationship and I think that Sweetheart looks like she's having so much fun being flirty, and I just want to have fun sometimes, I just need to learn how to let loose and know that both Husband and Sweetheart love me for who I am, and neither of them want to change who I am, or how I am. (Although I'm sure Husband would enjoy me a little less socially awkward, but I don't know if I would truly be me if I wasn't so awkward)
And before anyone asks, we all three talk though these feelings, quite often in fact. Because if we were to ignore them, it would just get bottled up inside and create issues that can cause rifts in the relationships. And I know that Husband Sweetheart and I all three want our relationship to work out, because we plan on being together until we are old and grey sitting in our rocking chairs, Husband flirting, Sweetheart sassing him, and me crocheting and thinking both of them are crazy, and that I will love them till I die.
Monday, May 13, 2013
I'm loopy as all get out, and wondering if we became immortal would our bodies age, I think they would, I mean it's only fair that if we're going to live forever that our bodies would need to age in order to keep it's from getting powerful, because of course we would all be wizards, DnD wizards, not Harry Potter.
But my wonderings aside, I am alive, and they found nothing wrong with me that they could see, and I'll be meeting with the doctor next week to discuss the biopsy results, and I will of course let everyone know the results of that. I was hoping they would find something wrong with me so they could fix it, pig well, here's hoping the biopsy will tell is what's wrong with me to cause all this pain.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
There is a piece of cheesecake in the fridge that is taunting me also....so not fair.
Friday, May 10, 2013
To be honest, I hope they find something wrong with me, just so we can get it taken care of.
But anyways, just an update for anyone who was curious.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
But anyways, I've been in pain off and on (mostly on) for the past almost three months, and I'm just hoping this doctor will have some answers as to what is causing this and how we can make it stop. Cause if he doesn't, the first specialist said that the next step is pretty much cutting me open to see how I tick.....not exactly wanting that option to happen.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
But anyways, I have a slightly fussy baby to get back to, she doesn't want anything from me, just wants me to sit near her as she plays. Which is actually rather sweet.