teething is stressful

Poor Loki right now, she just went to bed (which caused me to have to cancel all my hours I had planned to work tonight, which is kinda frustrating, but I mean what could I do really? I'll just have to make them up tomorrow night.) And so now I'm going to take a moment for myself, take a shower and go to bed.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to start something new for Loki, I will be getting up at 9 am, and waking Loki up by 9:15 or so, that way I have time to brush my teeth and get dressed before she wakes up, and also it will help promote healthy sleeping habits for Loki herself.
Here's crossing my fingers it all works out.

uuugggghhhhh

that is all

So long...I know.

I am still out here, just not having much time for fun computer time. I'll be honest, I'd never thought I'd say "I just want off the computer...can I do something else now?" but now that happens.
But, my class is finished next Monday, and I'll be able to working from 8-12 instead of just attending class (which will actually make my work schedule much easier to deal with, much less stressful for Husband having to deal with his work schedule, plus watching Loki while I'm in class and working)

But anyways, I'm forcing myself to have a bedtime, (well, it's 1:30, so that's quite late for most people, but I think it will work just fine for me, especially lately) So I'm going to sign off here and take the next 5 minutes to just goof off before bed.

Night!

Dear Sleep,

I know we don't talk much anymore. In fact, I've kind of been avoiding you. It's not you, it's Minecraft.
You've always been there for me when I needed you especially as a child. even when I didn't especially want to leave my book to spend time with you. Alway patient you are.
But I was just writing to say I'm sorry, I miss you and was wondering if I might be able to see you soon. Tonight maybe?

Waiting hopefully,
Heather

Shaken

I'm not sure what to feel right now, mostly I feel nothing. It's like I know it happened, but it doesn't quite feel like it happened to me. I suppose I'm still in emotional shock at the moment, which is odd, because now I've known for well over 12 hours what happened. It normally doesn't take this long for things to sink in, especially death. Maybe I've been over-exposed? 

Husband was wonderful to me today, after he got home from work he watched Loki for an hour so I could just lay down and rest, and when I got up, realizing what time it was we went to the Saturday night service at Hope. I think that was exactly what I needed. I felt much calmer and more myself I guess is the only word for it. 

I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't shut my mind off.

I will always treasure the memories I have going to Wisconsin and seeing my family. I want to keep the memory of Grandpa's voice in my head, the sight of him sitting at the table, always in the same spot at insanely early hours in the mornings with a cup of coffee in front of him. The smell of the breezeway, learning how to use a lathe.  Walking through the greenhouse with my sister and two cousins. Making up stories as we went, magic fairy tails. 

But mostly I want to remember that now M and Grandpa are both no longer in pain. That they are in a better place. And I hope one day to see them again, in a place of no more tears and no more sadness. 

For now, there are tears, and sadness, and joy at a long life and a man that will not be forgotten.