Wednesday, August 22, 2012

That little voice

worthless

pathetic

insecure

heifer

I can hear the words echoing from the back of my mind. Twinging on my thoughts, infecting, poisoning every compliment that has ever passed my ears.

forgotten

ignored

Her taunts grow stronger the longer I try to block her out. Every happy thought I have She counters with another well placed insult.


friendless

unworthy


The words start to taint my memories, making even the happiest moments dull, lifeless, as though my color world had gone back to black and white.

alone


lonely


Tears fall from my eyes as the taunting overwhelms me. I have no strength to resist Her any longer. The room grows darker as She whispers in my memories, hissing louder as I lay curled in the fetal position on the black sheets.

alone

always alone

Her voices whispers sweetly in my ear, a twisted parody of my own, full of bitterness and contempt.
and self-loathing.

no

ignored

no

forgotten

no

unloved

NO

Tears dampen my cheeks as I force strength into my mind. Her words grow quieter, weaker as I open my eyes.

 I am loved, I am important, I have friends, I am not alone.

She backs away, my face mirrored on Hers, begins to show uncertainty. I step forward as She retreats. Memories begin to gain color, a child's laugh, cheerful chatter of friends, hugs, physical affection. She begins to pale in my mind, as each joyful memory blazes around me. A voice strong, certain, my voice says "You have no power here."

and She is no more.

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