Not Much To Say

Just haven't had much to talk about lately, although I am trying to update my blog daily again, working on getting my daily and weekly routines back in order. It's going, kinda slowly, but it's going.

In other news I've been working on goals for my crocheting and knitting, and that seems to be making my life easier and smoother with the crafting. Plus it's always fun to cross off an accomplished goal.

general rage at the world

People just piss me off sometimes. Seriously, follow the adopted rule of the internet (otherwise known as Wheaton's Rule)

DON'T BE A DICK 

Good lord, how hard is that to follow? Now seriously, people, stop bothering me or I will treat you the same way back.

more ugh!

I'm changing the normal hours I work, to actual normal hours I get to work since Husband is home more now. So I'll be working between noon and 4 pm (not necessarily the whole time, but those will be normal hours of operation) along with still working from 10 pm till midnight.
I think this will work out well for all of us right now.

Lots of changing going on, but I'm back to keeping a regular schedule for household chores and that just makes me feel so much better already, it's a little ridiculous as to how much that helps me lower my stress level.

ugh

that is all

Down with the sickness

I believe we are coming down with the sickness...Loki's had a little bit of a runny nose and today she's started to run a slight fever. So before lunch she got some baby tyl to try to combat that, but she is not wanting to take her nap today, so far she's slept for 30 minutes, and then started crying, and I know I should have let her 'cry it out' but with her not feeling well I just didn't have the heart to do so. Loki just does not feel good right now, the poor thing. But I did lay her back down to try and get her to sleep for a little while longer, and She went down without too much fussing. She's got her favorite blanky and her Coco bear with her, and that tends to make her a little happier.
After she's up from her nap it's time to get the house more picked up, we've got Thanksgiving here on Saturday and I just need to get everything a little more tidy.

Well baby is up, so that's all for now

it is done!

All of the grocery bags that have been cluttering up the house are gathered and those that were not made into yarn by Saturday are bundled up by the front door waiting to go with us on our next grocery trip to be recycled. And when we made a quick trip to the store last night all the bags that we got were turned into yarn before I went to bed. I'm quite proud of myself for that. Turns out that if you fold the bags up the same night as you get them it's easier to cut them up for yarn...who knew?
Anyways, I'm quite proud of myself for getting that all taken care of. In other garbage bag news I've frogged my original re-usable bag I had been working on in favor of creating my own pattern to use to make it more like the ones you would buy, as opposed to being a circular base. So we'll see how that turns out.

Antibiotics are not my friends.

Cleaning and organizing

I'm working on getting the house back into shape, especially with all the changes that we are hoping to happen soon everything needs to be in a much more organized fashion and so I'm working on that now.
Besides, having a cleaner house makes me feel better about myself, and lately I need that. So...cleaning has been happening. the kitchen still has a little ways to go, but it's getting there. Next to conquer today will be the clean laundry, and tidying up the bathroom. But for now I am going to have a little relax and crafty time, because by Saturday any plastic bag that has not been turned into yarn or is being used as a trash bag is getting recycled and taken out of this house, I have too many bags as it is.

I also heard back from my boss again, and now my paycheck is expected to arrive tomorrow or Thursday by fed-ex overnight mail. So, there's that good news at least. Still looking into the information to become my own IBO, especially since Husband knows a few people who are wanting to work from home, as do I. So if I did start up my own business to contract out to Arise they could work under me, which would mean a lot more work for me, along with loads of paperwork (but I do so love my paperwork) So that plan is still under review, but is on the table to be examined.

frustration

It's very hard not to just vent out all my frustration in a blog post, but if I were to do that it could quite possibly get back to those people and hurt some feelings, so for now I just rein it in, don't rant and rave about the double standards of life and just try to let sleeping dogs lie.


In brighter news, I need to stay off the 'geek' boards on Pinterest because now I really want to watch Doctor Who, and while that isn't really a problem, the problem is finding time to go visit D so that I can watch it with her :-). But hopefully this week we'll both have time for a little get together.

And that's it for now, Loki is in her crib for a nap, and Ber is heading over for some sister time (we'll probably play Super Nintendo until Loki's up)

Life keeps running away with time

And I just don't get anything done.


I'll try to post soon with an update of all the goings ons lately.

4 years

Today 4 years ago a man died whom I never got the chance to know. A man Husband loved, who raised him to be the man he is today, For that, I am grateful.
I do wish there had just been more time.

oh my goodness

How is it that my one hour shift that was supposed to be over at 12:30 just ended now? That was supposed to be my schedule for Saturday - Sunday not Friday - Saturday.

Anyways, my brain has stopped functioning, and I'm supposed to be up in like 5 hours or so to get Loki ready  because we're going to watch Grandpa rope! And then....baking! Because a certain sister of my (and sister-in-law) have a birthday tomorrow- well I guess technically today, but still, you know what I mean.

I feel like a zombie right now...to tired to move. Maybe I'll just sleep in the computer chair.

Nobody listens to my plans...

Especially Little Loki, but then of course, I suppose you can't get mad at a 10 month old for not listening to her mama's plans for the day. Eh, I just want to get her on a steady sleeping schedule so I won't have to worry about her waking up while I'm trying to take service calls.
Welp, I'm going to chillax and watch the end of my show and off to bed I go! (ha, I rhymed)

Well, that didn't go as planed.

I was able to work tonight, mostly because of Husband's help and willingness to stay up with Loki till she (finally) gave in and fell asleep. So I got through my two hour shift with no problems, it went rather smoothly, I wish I could always take hours at night. In fact, if the 1:00 slot would have been available  I would still be working right now. So after this I will be getting ready for bed and hopefully getting some sleep tonight.
My plan to get up at 9 yesterday morning was foiled by Loki as she woke up at 6....and didn't want to go back to sleep, I think we dozed on the couch a little bit, but all in all I was quite tired today. Hopefully Loki will be more agreeable tomorrow with the plan and I'll actually fell more rested and able to get things done around the house.
I have realized I am in desperate need of getting back on track with my daily and weekly routines...cause honestly, right now the house is kinda a wreck  now it won't take much time to fix, mostly due to my routines that I had been keeping up with, but right now I'm kinda embarrassed about it. And I think getting back on track with everything will not only help me feel better about the house, but will also give me more energy and help me feel more confident with work.

Oh! I've also gotten back into using myfitnesspal.com in order to try to start not only losing weight, but trying to eat a little healthier and get more exercise, Loki and I are going on daily promenades. And while we were out walking today we saw this on a car windshield and it just made me giggle.

But our walk went well, and I think Loki really enjoyed it, mostly cause she was able to kick her little feet as we were walking around. 

Well, I'm off for the night. Here's hoping Loki lets me get some sleep tonight. 

teething is stressful

Poor Loki right now, she just went to bed (which caused me to have to cancel all my hours I had planned to work tonight, which is kinda frustrating, but I mean what could I do really? I'll just have to make them up tomorrow night.) And so now I'm going to take a moment for myself, take a shower and go to bed.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to start something new for Loki, I will be getting up at 9 am, and waking Loki up by 9:15 or so, that way I have time to brush my teeth and get dressed before she wakes up, and also it will help promote healthy sleeping habits for Loki herself.
Here's crossing my fingers it all works out.

uuugggghhhhh

that is all

So long...I know.

I am still out here, just not having much time for fun computer time. I'll be honest, I'd never thought I'd say "I just want off the computer...can I do something else now?" but now that happens.
But, my class is finished next Monday, and I'll be able to working from 8-12 instead of just attending class (which will actually make my work schedule much easier to deal with, much less stressful for Husband having to deal with his work schedule, plus watching Loki while I'm in class and working)

But anyways, I'm forcing myself to have a bedtime, (well, it's 1:30, so that's quite late for most people, but I think it will work just fine for me, especially lately) So I'm going to sign off here and take the next 5 minutes to just goof off before bed.

Night!

Dear Sleep,

I know we don't talk much anymore. In fact, I've kind of been avoiding you. It's not you, it's Minecraft.
You've always been there for me when I needed you especially as a child. even when I didn't especially want to leave my book to spend time with you. Alway patient you are.
But I was just writing to say I'm sorry, I miss you and was wondering if I might be able to see you soon. Tonight maybe?

Waiting hopefully,
Heather

Shaken

I'm not sure what to feel right now, mostly I feel nothing. It's like I know it happened, but it doesn't quite feel like it happened to me. I suppose I'm still in emotional shock at the moment, which is odd, because now I've known for well over 12 hours what happened. It normally doesn't take this long for things to sink in, especially death. Maybe I've been over-exposed? 

Husband was wonderful to me today, after he got home from work he watched Loki for an hour so I could just lay down and rest, and when I got up, realizing what time it was we went to the Saturday night service at Hope. I think that was exactly what I needed. I felt much calmer and more myself I guess is the only word for it. 

I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't shut my mind off.

I will always treasure the memories I have going to Wisconsin and seeing my family. I want to keep the memory of Grandpa's voice in my head, the sight of him sitting at the table, always in the same spot at insanely early hours in the mornings with a cup of coffee in front of him. The smell of the breezeway, learning how to use a lathe.  Walking through the greenhouse with my sister and two cousins. Making up stories as we went, magic fairy tails. 

But mostly I want to remember that now M and Grandpa are both no longer in pain. That they are in a better place. And I hope one day to see them again, in a place of no more tears and no more sadness. 

For now, there are tears, and sadness, and joy at a long life and a man that will not be forgotten. 

Rage post

I am so frustrated and angry I am shaking, so therefore since I cannot yell and scream or take this anger out on the people I view as responsible for this stupidity (technology) I will rage on the internet - as all mature and responsible people do.

I will be working at home through my computer for a telephone company, and tomorrow is our first day of 'nesting' where we start taking live calls. So today during class we tested our phone lines and live systems to make sure we're all set up and ready to go. I got into the live systems with no problem, they're almost identical to the training systems. (which is probably the point) But when we tested the phone lines, I was able to log in, and ring my phone, but when I picked up with my handy dandy headset, I heard a fairly steady tone in my ear (very loudly I might add)
So when I stayed after class tonight to try to figure out what was going on with my phone, we found out that it wasn't working because my phone line is digital, not analog. Well, that just pissed me off, because when I called cox the first time to get my phone service
Well, very very long story short (I was on the phone off and on for an hour trying to get this figured out) I have to call back in the morning because customer retention is not available, nor is customer service, only tech.

So, I will be calling back bright and early before Husband leaves for work and either they will give me an analog phone, or I will be taking my service elsewhere and I will be getting a refund for my phone line, or else Husband is going to get on the phone to get me a refund. I was told I was getting an analog phone line with no bells and whistles, that is not what I got, so therefore I am not going to pay for it.
I am looking forward to yelling at someone tomorrow morning.

But before I call cox I will be calling at&t to see if they have an analog phone line, just so I have a back up and can yell tat to cox before I get my phone line removed.


I went on facebook to rage about the evils of customer service and curse them for not being up late like I am, when i ran across this video.

and it made me feel so much better. Now I'm going to make a snack, kill some things online, take a shower and go to bed, if my brain lets me sleep. 

and I'm off!

zoo day!

Today admission to the zoo was only $1, and it was awesome.

We went around to most of the exhibits. Husband especially wanted to see the bears (mostly because he wanted a picture of him and Loki on the statue)

And of course we had to visit the jungle, Ber and Loki were hiding behind the waterfall. It was quite nifty today, there was fog everywhere near the water. Ended up being quite spooky at times. 

Husband was right at home in the 'nests' of the apes. 

Not pictured here is our friend Irish, she came down this weekend so we though we'd show her a good time :) 

In other news, not much has been going on. I start nesting later this week (taking live calls) which has me quite nervous, but I feel rather confident because I got a 95% on my last test, which gave me an 87.5% overall. I'm doing pretty good. 

And now, I'm going to watch Hulu and knit until bedtime. 

That little voice

worthless

pathetic

insecure

heifer

I can hear the words echoing from the back of my mind. Twinging on my thoughts, infecting, poisoning every compliment that has ever passed my ears.

forgotten

ignored

Her taunts grow stronger the longer I try to block her out. Every happy thought I have She counters with another well placed insult.


friendless

unworthy


The words start to taint my memories, making even the happiest moments dull, lifeless, as though my color world had gone back to black and white.

alone


lonely


Tears fall from my eyes as the taunting overwhelms me. I have no strength to resist Her any longer. The room grows darker as She whispers in my memories, hissing louder as I lay curled in the fetal position on the black sheets.

alone

always alone

Her voices whispers sweetly in my ear, a twisted parody of my own, full of bitterness and contempt.
and self-loathing.

no

ignored

no

forgotten

no

unloved

NO

Tears dampen my cheeks as I force strength into my mind. Her words grow quieter, weaker as I open my eyes.

 I am loved, I am important, I have friends, I am not alone.

She backs away, my face mirrored on Hers, begins to show uncertainty. I step forward as She retreats. Memories begin to gain color, a child's laugh, cheerful chatter of friends, hugs, physical affection. She begins to pale in my mind, as each joyful memory blazes around me. A voice strong, certain, my voice says "You have no power here."

and She is no more.

AWAKE!!!

I am all fired up from class, I did good, understood stuff today, and just feel like I'm on fire! (not literally)

Loki's asleep (finally, poor thing is trying to grow her second tooth)
Husband is tucked in bed sleeping, and all his clothes/work stuffs is set out for him to get up really really early.
Homework done
information read up on

And now, to work on my closet organization/ updating Ravelry stash to help me keep track of everything and stay organized.

Not much to say, but wanted to share

Saw this today when I was looking through my comics, thought it really deserved a share. Especially since I've been in such a craft mood lately.
Things are going well for me right now, had a wonderful weekend with my family, Husband got to have a nice relaxing nerding out at Wizard's Asylum talking about Battletech.

 

Ber and I decided to go crafty while at mom's and took a used oatmeal container and spray painted it. Now it will be used to wrap headbands on the outside and hair brushes and hair ties/barrettes will be stored on the inside. 

(It was my fist experiment with spray painting anything....I have a lot to learn evidently)

While Ber and I were goofing off with the spray paint, Mom was watching the baby (and us) and rocked Loki to sleep.

 Loki hanging out while we made peach crisp (which was delicious!) 

organization!

I've been slowly organizing my 'craft closet' and my WIP's so I can get them finished and taken care of. (some of them are insanely old and only need a couple hours tops to finish.)

And holding with one of the internet's sayings - pics or it didn't happen!

before pics of closet

Still kind of before, I got on ravelry and updated all the hooks and needles I had and took advantage of some of the empty Pringles cans I had laying around. (I thought that was quite smart actually)

This is an example of what is inside of a 'project bag' now. The paper has:

Started-

Project-

Yarn-

Needle-

Pattern- (and where I have it stored if it's on a phone/website/book)

Notes-

A couple of hanging project bags. 

I'm quite looking forward to getting this all organized and squared away. Plus it would be nice to close the closet door, although with that big blue tote and the bookshelf in there I dunno if that will ever happen.

backsliding

I haven't been posting much, which is naughty on my part. But I just get distracted, and forget to update. I think it's because I've started letting chaos take over my house again. I need to get back to my lists, I'll start feeling better and more productive, but I just don't really want to put the effort into it sometimes. I'm backsliding so bad right now, I'm kinda disappointed in myself to be honest.

But tomorrow is another day, and I still need to take a shower before bed. So off I go, and hope Loki sleeps late in the morning.

Had fun with my parents and sister today

Went and hung out with my family today, and Loki had such a great time.

Loki and Midnight the cat hanging out on Gram's front porch

Loki and Ber

We were playing on Gram's tractor. It looks like Loki got my habit of closing my eyes while someone is taking a picture.

Her first bite of 'puffs' (they're kinda like Cheerios, but made for babies) 

She liked them after the first couple bites, but good lord she did NOT like that first bite. 

She still isn't sure what to think of her Gramps....most of the time she just stares at him. 

they were making 'hooting' noises at each other, it was adorable. 

*All but the last three pictures were taken by my mom*

Ugh. I hate frogging a project, especially one that I've spent so much time on!

Getting back in the swing of things

It's hard once you've let your schedule go all to hell to get back into getting everything done. Especially with this new class, it goes till midnight, and as soon as class is done I take Loki from Husband (if she hasn't gone to sleep yet) because he has to be up at 4:30 most mornings, and then Loki and I try to get ready for bed. And after she's asleep I do my pre-work for the next day's class and normally when that's finished I'm so tired I just go crawl into bed.
But today I (mostly) took back my kitchen from the clutter of evil encroaching dishes. Next is to get the counters and stove nice and sparkly again.
And tomorrow .....I had forgotten what I was going to type now..... So I think I'll log off for now, because evidently I'm losing my mind.

I'm still alive!

Lots going on lately, working hard on keeping up with all my homework for my certification class to contract out from Arise. Only done with two weeks, and it last till the end of September! But I am looking forward to going back to work, I think it'll be easier because I'll be able to work from home.

Loki and I are feeling a little better, although Loki's going through a "I want mommy" phase, make me feel rather loved when she's clinging with those tiny hands to my arm rather than go play with her daddy. Oh! We've learned a new trick!

Loki has mastered pulling herself up to stand. Now she's trying to figure out how to move once she's standing. It's quite adorable, but the poor child has my horrible balance! Husband was watching her while I was in class and I heard her start crying. Later he tells me that Loki had been up standing with the couch and the chair, perfect balance no wavering, then plopped down and crawled around the living room for a bit, and then sat up and looked around for a minute and then she had just fell over while sitting up and bumped her head. Evidently her sudden lack of balance surprised her and she started crying.
He started chuckling at this point saying "the poor child has you lack of balance" 

I replied with "let's not say things you can't take back, we don't want to curse the poor thing"

I know it's a rather brief update, but I will come back with a longer update soon, I need to take a shower and go to bed, so I can get up bright and early with Loki in the morning.

Sleep is a thing of the past

Oh my, we'll go ahead and do good news first. My eyes seem to be clearing up well, the busted capillaries are almost completely gone. My headaches aren't completely gone, but have proven to be more manageable with just Ibuprofen while starting the allergy meds at night. I'm hoping this continues, as is all I have to do is take the headache meds right before I start class and I'm pretty much good for the rest of the night.

Munchkin didn't want to sleep last night, which was not very much fun for me at all. I think I slept maybe 4 hours, and all of that was on our couch, which Munchkin sleeping with me. But I was able to get a little nap, so I could function.
She stayed up for my whole class tonight, thankfully she wasn't to fussy till right before I logged off. Husband did pretty good with her, I've been so proud of him taking care of her while I'm in class. He's such a good man. I got her down, and got into the shower (finally!) and now I'm about to start working on my homework for class tomorrow.

Class went rather well tonight, I'm feeling pretty good about stuff as it has been going. I have a lot of homework for tomorrow to get done, but I'm only letting myself stay up till 3 tonight, after that I need to get to bed (which is why I'm trying to type so quickly, because when the clock hits 2 it's all work for me.)

And it's 2:01, I'm running late already.

Night!

I hate technology sometimes

I just downloaded iTunes for my computer, and over that past few years I have purchased music with my iTunes account. Well, for some reason the number of songs I have bought has somehow decreased as time has gone on, to now. I have no previous purchases anymore, at least according to iTunes. And to be honest it's kinda pissing me off, seriously, I paid money for songs, I expect to be able to hear those songs without having to pay for them again.

Ugh! I'm going back to my homework. Good night!

Finally Feeling Better!!

I woke up with the most horrible headache I've ever had. I could barely get out of bed. Thankfully it was Husband's day off so he was able to help me with Munchkin, and as soon as she was fed and dressed we headed off to the doctor's office to see if we could get a walk-in appointment. It took almost 3 hours from start to finish but we were able to see a doctor. And oddly enough her answer to my horrible headaches for the past three days and the broken capillaries on my eye lids was bad allergies bordering on a sinus infection. So I am now (along with Husband) taking an allergy pill every night (the doctor suggested taking it at night as apposed to morning, she said it would work better that way, apparently your allergies are worse at night than during the day. I seriously would have thought that was backwards) and I was advised to continue taking Ibuprofen as I needed it. So I just took both, and hopefully will be going to bed soon, I'm still wired from my first day of class.
I finally got some house work done this afternoon (mostly thanks to Husband helping with the chores and watching the baby for me) I felt so much better, knowing nothing was seriously wrong with me, and feeling a little better due to lots of pain meds along with  actually  getting the house picked up some and presentable.

Although it was all overshadowed by the fact that I started my certification class tonight for AT&T. It was completely terrifying. Poor Husband had his hands full with me today, first I was a baby for not feeling good, then I was a complete wreck of nerves trying to prepare for class and Husband watching Munchkin all on his own, getting her bath done and ready for bed (thankfully I can nurse her while class is going on, otherwise we would be in big trouble)

And now, I'm waiting for the cookies to finish cooling, because Husband's favorite manager works tomorrow, and it's his long day of the week. The cookies just start the day off right for everyone.

Today was so very much fun

Well last night I did end up getting sick, about 4:30 am, thankfully I had finished nursing Munchkin, laid her down got the music started playing and made it to the bathroom in time. So, not a fun early morning, but thankfully I got about 4 more hours of sleep before Munchkin got up. Then we slept some on the couch after nursing. (Which is where Husband found us when he got home from work.
It was after Husband was watching Munchkin so I could get ready for the day that I noticed my eyelids looked funny. It looked like I had just put blusher on myself, looking closer it looks like a bunch of the capillaries in my eyelids busted.

Which I think looks incredibly odd if you ask me, Husband isn't to worried about the actual capillaries, he's more worried about the headaches I've been getting the last day or so. 

MawMa came over to hang out and see our new place today, we had a wonderful lunch with her and Ber. Then Ber and I went out to do some shopping (getting the last couple things to get my compy up and running and some jeans) It's always fun to hang with my sister. 

But, I need to get some more of my pre-class homework done, so off I go. And after, if it's not to late, I'm going to play a game of LoL,cause it's awesome. 

So much news in so little time

I'm going to apologize (wow that work is hard to spell) right now, I'm a little tipsy, had to take some pain meds for this horrible headache I have well, had it's gone now, but I'm left with a lot of dizziness and a feeling of having drank a little to much, tipsy on the verge of drunk. I don't like the feeling. At all. (it's the reason I don't drink, I don't really like the feeling of it, well besides the fact I'm breastfeeding, and it's really bad for the baby.)

Well we were going to try to work things out with Bard and Munchkin, giving the dog more attention, having a mutual play time, trying to have more positive actions between the two of them. But Thursday evening I was sitting on the couch, Bard laying next to me. Husband was reading in the elephant chair and Munchkin was playing with her toys by my feet. I heard an odd noise, and I turned to Husband and told him, I think Bard is growling at Munchkin. Turning back to look at the dog, I heard him do it again. Before i could say anything else, Bard jumped off the couch growling and barking and lunged for Munchkin. Husband and I both were yelling at Bard to go to bed, Munchkin started screaming and crying. It was horrible, and one of the scariest moments in my life so far. Thankfully Munchkin seemed to be more scared of the loud noises Husband and I were making that the dog. She had three small scratches from his claws on her arm that were gone before she went to bed. But Bard got her on the back, and broke skin. Thankfully it's not large, and I've been treating it with neosporin  and keeping it clean.
So needless to say we decided that Bard would be going to the Humane Society today. I told Ber, D, and my mom, just to let them know, and see if anyone had any better options. Mom sent me a bunch of different shelters that I could check out. (I looked at them, but none of them could take Bard from us right away.) Ber however was talking with a co-worker today who expressed interest. She came and took Bard for the weekend, to see if he would fit in her family. I really hope it works for them, we've had Bard for over 4 years we've raised him from a puppy, I just want him to have a good doggy life.

The final thing I'm going to talk about is......Munchkin is getting her first tooth! When cleaning her gums this morning I felt the sharpness (good lord, that is really really sharp!)

Okay, I'm going to brush my teeth and go to bed, I'm so dizzy right now, I hate taking pain meds, but I needed it bad enough.

Oh my goodness!!!

Getting ready for a new job is so nerve racking! Especially having to get my computer all set up, I think I've already done an hours worth of reading and the class doesn't start till Monday! I think it's mostly nerves though, I've never done any telecommunications work before and just the though of it is making me nervous. Plus it feels like there's so much left to do.
I need to talk to A about buying her old headset, get the computer hooked up, download all the necessary things for my class, and all the security measures I need. Plus I need to call and get our phone line hooked up and working, ugh! so much to do.
So, I've gotten caught up on all the pre-work I can get done for class now and I'm going to finish my episode of Smash, while cutting up some grocery bags for 'yarn' and then showering and off to bed I go!

On the Flylady note...my house is a mess, and I will get to it tomorrow.

so many unfinished projects...

I can't focus...I need to finish stuff but it just keeps getting put by the wayside...so tonight I don't have much of a blog, because I am going to be working on finishing the fringe on Ber's shawl.

Happy crafting!

So...news

We are having to give Bard a new home. He's become increasingly jealous of the baby, and the methods we've tried so far have done nothing. Bard is almost passive-aggressive with it. Not acting out, being a good boy, and then growling at the baby a different day. So until we find him a new home, Husband and I have both been keeping a closer eye on him, and not leaving the room if he is out and Munchkin is playing on the floor. So we've notified people on facebook and have put an add on craigslist to see if we can get any interest that way. All in all, it's very disappointing. When we got Bard we weren't thinking enough to the future.

Friday = DONE!

Well, today was Friday, and for my weekly chores that means grocery shopping! And since Husband worked in the afternoon/evening I got to go by myself. (so was not looking forward to that) With the awesome Cozi app I already have my grocery list ready (although still adding things to it and organizing and what not. But anyways, I get Munchkin in her car seat and off we go! It was a fairly un-eventful trip, although WIC gives you so much baby food! Seriously, I have no clue how we're going to go through all of it. 16 jars of baby food minimum a week, it's crazy! Since we moved I've been shopping at a new Dillons, just as nice, but things are in a different place, so it sometimes takes a little extra time to find things. Munchkin was pretty happy during the shopping so the extra time wasn't really stressful. There was a surprising lack of people there, honestly, I think there were as many people at 4 on a Friday as there are at 10 at night, for someone with social anxiety, it was quite relaxing.
We're all done, going to check out, and we have a very nice young guy clerk, who has only done the WIC checks once before (poor thing) So he struggled through it, but was very nice, we got everything taken care of, and I'm going to walk out to the car, and I can't find my handy dandy WIC folder thingy. So I look in the diaper bag, on the counter, everywhere, finally find it in the cart. Disaster averted I head to the car. Everything's in the trunk, baby buckled in the back, and I can't find my phone. Let the freak out begin, I looked all through the diaper bag, the back seat, took the grocery bags out of the trunk looking for it, couldn't find it. So as I'm loading the bags back into the trunk I feel something odd in my shirt, I had my stupid phone all along, it had just fallen down and was playing hid and seek, evidently on a much higher level that I was. Oh, so much fun.

But in much better news, I got all but two things on my daily list done, and everything done for my Friday list! I'm so proud of myself. Now, I'm going to take the last 20 minutes of my time before bed and goof off.

Night!

So I've changed my mind

Instead of doing FlyLady's beginner baby steps i've adapted then end 'control journal' to my purposes and have started using the COZI app on both my phone and Husband's. I use the to-do list as my daily control journal, and have made an extra list for my weekly chores. I'm even working on one for the monthly 'zones' of deep cleaning. Plus Husband has his own to-do list that I update so he just looks at it when he gets home from work and knows what I need him to do for the day. It's quite awesome. Plus I love the calendar part of it. That's actually the main reason I downloaded it in the first place.

In other news the shawl for Ber is complete!! (except for the fringe, which I'm hoping to finish tonight if I can ever get Munchkin to go to sleep. She's tired, but really doesn't want to give in. It's okay, I got an hour nap in earlier, so I'm good till about 2 am, then I'll need to tag Husband in for a little bit.
Tomorrow while Husband is gone at work my plan (after getting my morning/afternoon checklists done) is to get out the sewing machine and re-familiarize myself with it, and sew up a blanket I've had pinned together for at least 2 years. If that goes well then I'll do some patch work on my pair of cut-offs, and my only pair of jeans. So fingers crossed it goes well.

Well, Munchkin is down in her crib for the second time, and hopefully this time she will fall asleep on her own. (I hate letting her cry, but she needs to sleep.) Every time I try to put her down in her own bed today she's woken up and started crying, but it is bedtime now, so she gets to cry for 10-15 minutes before I go and 'save' her from the 'evil sleeping place'
Gotta love kids.

Here's the shawl folded with 1/4 of the fringe done (it takes forever!!!)

about nothing

I don't have much to say tonight, so I'll just say it, I'm watching Hulu and trying to finish a crochet project. I'll post a picture of the finished project tomorrow (before washing/blocking)

The adventures of Yukki & Kenny : The haunted house

"Kenny, are you sure this is safe?" Yukki's high voice asked as she flitted near the goliath's stone-colored shoulder.
Holding back a large sigh he replied "I am almost positive this is not safe. If you wanted things safe why did you become an adventurer?"
Yukki paused at his question "Because if I didn't I wouldn't get to stay with you!"
Shaking his head Ken continued to stare at the door "we have to go in, midnight on the Winter Solstice is the only time that Brandibar's dead lover will show up. And she has information of this 'thoon' cult that we keep running into."
"Oh yeah! I keep forgetting, I think the house is scaring me."
The goliath shook his head as the pixie on his shoulder almost fell off in fright as the front door creaked open all on it's own.
"Are you ready?"
"No" her tiny voice replied
"Good, let's find this ghost before the malshapers do"

Ken walked in, Yukki flitting nervously at his shoulder, her natural glow dimming in the dark shadowy room. Lit by moonlight the old house had an eerie beauty, until the sound of bugs and rodents running around was noticed. And the dead bodies were a little disconcerting. Ken's foot steps echoed in the large foyer. The rotting wooden floor was covered in decaying rugs, a grand chandelier hung in disrepair above their heads. To the right was an arched doorway, Yukki's pink glow turning the skeleton bones a eerie shade in the dim light.
'What are you doing?' a voice whispered in Yukki's mind
"Kenny! The ghosts are speaking to me!"
A disbelieving look on his face Ken turned to the fey "what are they saying?"
"They're asking what we're doing here."
"Well, just let me know if they start screaming or threatening our lives, that's when you need to start worrying."
A pause from Yukki as she flew off the stone shoulder, illuminating more of the decrepit house. A burned wooden table was faintly visible in front of the skeletons to Yukki's right. She continued past the doorway further into the hallway, Ken's heavy footsteps following behind her. A staircase loomed ahead, the tatters of a dress hanging between the rails. Yukki's head turned sharply to the right, the voices leading her to the back corner of the room. "Kenny, I think there's someone back here." She whispered as a beetle skuttled under her.
"What are they saying now?" Ken asked, keeping an eye on both the staircase and the skeletons in the other room. When neither moved, he turned his attention to Yukki as she passed into the corner room. Squish Ken looked down, a large beadle under his boot, it's bright red shell cracked.
"IGNARO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PET!"

"Kenny, I think the ghosts are mad now." Yukki backed up into the doorway as Ken stepped in front of her, shielding her from the glowing butcher knife sailing towards her.
"Why do I let you talk me into these situations?" he muttered as he pulled out his long sword.
A bolt of radiant light shot past him towards the hazy figure in the corner. "Cause I'm fun!"

"Yeah, sure you are"

I was slightly naughty today

I'm going to say sorry ahead of time, I'm typing this on my phone, so it might have a few more errors than normal at the moment.

Didn't get as much cleaning done as I should have today. Kept getting distracted by stuff. (mostly D&D to be honest)

We went and visited Maw Ma for a bit today, which was nice, we had fun catching up and are planning a dinner next week so she can come see our new place.

Husband and I spent a fair amount of time together working on my characters for our campaign. Yes, I did say characters as in plural, I play a pixie cleric named Yukki (a little pink haired fairy princess, literally) and a goliath fighter named Kenny (a large man who very much enjoys the violence of battle.) they are loosely based off two fictional characters, leave a comment if you have a guess!
Husband (who is our DM) has made an allowance for me to play two characters partly because of our lower number of players, and because I made them to fit so well together (Plus Yukki would throw a fit and refuse to heal without her Kenny) I told Husband that if he ever wants to have me only play one character he'd have to kill off Kenny, there's no way Yukki would go on alone if he were still alive.
I realize to some people it may be weird to hear me talking like these characters have a personality of their own, but when you spend literal hours working on building all their strengths and weaknesses, along with their gear, spell/attack capabilities, the character starts to come to life. Husband once had a character, a Tibbit (a shape-shifting house cat) cleric that demanded everything she owned be of the highest quality. Husband couldn't stand the Tibbit by the end of the campaign.
As you can by now tell, we spent a lot of time on D&D. But I've been working on getting to know my characters better, their attacks and Yukki's healing, cause someone *cough* Blondie *cough* keeps trying to get himself killed. And in order to keep up with that monk who tries to be a tank but doesn't have the hit points or the armor to back up his intentions. Yukki keeps telling him to wait for Kenny, but no, the monk doesn't listen. If she knew the spell she would turn the monk into a toad so he would be less trouble-some.

Okay, back to actual reality, Husband and I went out to the drive in tonight! We got to see Brave and the first half of The Avengers. I loved Brave! It was such a good movie, I laughed, I cried, it moved me Bob! All in all, I recommend both movies, and hope to get them both when they cone out on DVD.
Well, I think Munchkin is finally ready to sleep, so off we go!

I'm getting pretty good at this!

Not completely killing it yet, but I kept my sink shining all day long! (well, after I got up at least)
We were going to go to church this morning, but Munchkin didn't sleep well last night, so I put Husband in charge of the alarms and making sure we got up in time to shower and get ready. Well, that didn't end up turning out to well. I didn't get his attention before I told him evidently, so we ended up waking up an hour late and not making it today. :-(
Had a pretty good day, Husband took the baby and let me nap for a bit. Munchkin got introduced to peaches, she's neutral on the subject so far.
I got most of day 8 I'm actually really bad at getting my own clothes out for the day, but I always have Husband's uniform and work stuffs set out and ready to go before I go to bed so he doesn't have to worry about anything (and it helps him get a couple extra minutes of sleep in the mornings)
All in all, I'm feeling positive, and looking forward to the de-cluttering tomorrow. Gonna tackle the 'junk' drawer in the living room.

Feeling pretty good today!

I got up, got ready, got the baby ready and we were off! We made it to the post office to pick up our held mail and to take the hold off. See, it's a funny story; when we moved and I went to get our new mailbox keys the post office told me that the previous tenants had not turned in their keys, so therefore I had to pay for a new lock/key set. So not fair if you as me, having to pay for someone else's stupidity. But anyway, I paid for the outrageous new lock, and was told to call before I went to get my keys (to make sure they were actually finished before I drove out to get them) So I called Friday and was told to pick them up, and did so. But I forgot to pick up the mail/remove the hold while I was out, and by the time I was done with the rest of my day it was to late. So I had to go back today, and I have a very bad track record about getting to the post office in time on Saturdays. But in awesome news: Monday we'll get our first mail at our new place :)
And in even better news: The baby slept for almost 8 hours last night! I was so excited, like beyond excited. I actually got about 7 hours of sleep myself. And she even took a nap today while Ber and I were hanging out.
The original plan for today was Ber was going to take Munchkin and leave me here alone, well that didn't happen, because Ber mentioned she was going to Hobby Lobby, and after asking Husband about it, I went with because I wanted to do this :

This is the actual complete project. (you can see me taking the picture and Bur waving in the background...she's kinda crazy like that) So instead of getting as much work done as I was hoping, I got part  of it done and had a wonderful afternoon with Ber and Munchkin.

Although I did get quite a bit organized this morning. Using this awesome app in my phone I have all the important reminders for this month in there. And that just makes me feel good, like I really accomplished something and have my month in order, which just makes life seem easier and more productive

day 7 is completed and my sink is shiny tonight! I'm feeling pretty good about that :) Now just to tackle day 8 and keep going and continue feeling positive about life and the Flying process.

I hate when your face starts pealing after having a minor sunburn. It's nice that washing my face doesn't feel like rubbing sandpaper on my cheeks, but still. I'm just happy I don't normally wear make-up, because there would be no way I could do that natural 'no I'm not wearing make-up' look today. (and that's what I prefer to try to do. Although it is kinda fun to do the crazy exotic make-up every once in a while, I just don't really go out anywhere that it would be appropriate for much anymore.

Well, it seems like I had quite a bit to say today, anywho, I'm off to get a few rows of crochet finished and then off to bed.

Truthfully

I'm not doing so awesome with keeping my sink clean. Mostly because I'm afraid if I start banging around the pots and pans as I'm cleaning, or even just rinsing dishes and putting them away I'll wake up Munchkin, and since it has been so hard to put her to sleep lately, I really don't want to wake her up. I did do my day six pretty good. Worked on my table hot spot, and my kitchen counters.
Ber is going to come hang out with me a bit tomorrow while our husbands are both gone at work and take Munchkin with her to run some errands. (at least that's the current plan) It's a nice way for her to spend time with her 'favorite' niece and also a way to give me a little time away from the baby, which I really appreciate. Plus this way Ber can see a little bit how it is to run errands with a little baby in tow, although Munchkin's normally pretty good at the store. Talked with Husband about the game plan for my 'alone' time, and have it all set out for what will be getting done.
* get the last couple boxes taken care of
* clean / finish organizing the bathroom
* straighten up Munchkin's room / organize all the cloth diaper stuffs
* get laundry caught up

(Husband actually only told me to get the first two done, I added the last two)

But the baby is asleep, the Husband is asleep, his clothes and work stuffs are all set up and ready for him tomorrow when he gets up bright and early. And now that all of those things are taken care of I'm going to watch hulu and work on some crafty things!

I've got this.....I think

Well I've got most of day five complete. The one thing I'm not doing that they suggest is post-it notes. a) because i don't have any post-it notes b) because I'm just using my control journal - if I use that then I can mark it off, and marking a chore off makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something. I keep up on the FlyLady news by getting the daily emails, instead of using the big tent website. My sink is not quite shiny tonight, but considering how behind I was I'm proud of what I've gotten done.
But since Munchkin has decided she doesn't want to go to bed yet, I may be able to get it all done and shiny tonight before I go to bed.

Fireworks and Fires

Happy Independence Day! 

We had quite a bit of fun going out to a friend's house and shooting off fireworks. Although the night was not without excitement. Husband got hit in the chest and leg by a firework (one of the big ones tipped over) and at the same time our friend's house and the neighbor's front bushes. It was quite the night, lucky that time (and the next time a firework tipped over) Munchkin and I were inside. 

Husband is feeling better, but still has some deep muscle pain from being hit in the chest that flares up a couple times a day. Although he says the burn on his leg has been bothering him more (probably because it hides under his sock and gets irritated.) 

But all in all, it was a wonderful day with friends. 

Continuation

To be completely honest, I kind of failed day 3, but I'm running on about 14 hours of sleep for the past 72 hours. I did get dressed for most of the morning, but then after taking the dog out Munchkin was acting tired, so I put my pj pants back on and we took a nap on the couch, and I think that hour and a half was the most she slept all day. Right now, my sink is not cleaned, and there are dinner dishes in it, but at the moment, Munchkin is finally asleep. And I'm so proud of her, because after about 10 minutes of sleeping in her crib, she started crying. And instead of rushing to comfort her I let her cry for about 7 minutes, and she fell back asleep!!! So exciting, she actually has never done that before.
So all in all, Flying today has been a little bit of a failure, but the baby is asleep, so now I'm going to take a shower and crawl into my nice, soft, warm, comfortable bed.

Once and again

Well, at this point day 2 is halfway done. I'm up, (I think I look quite zombie-like) I am dressed, my hair has been brushed (yeah, that's odd to comment, but when i get busy I don't even worry about brushing my hair, which happens quite often actually) it's in a nice french braid (okay, I have to note here...braid is such an odd spelling, I had to look it up to make sure I wasn't spelling it wrong) I am actually wearing make-up and socks. I'm supposed to dress to shoes, but we don't wear shoes in the house, so after talking to Husband, he said dressing to socks would be acceptable.
I'm thinking of crocheting up a pair of house slippers if I find a pattern I like that has the simulated soles. The problem with that is so many slipper patterns have a seam along the bottom, instead of a flat sole, and I don't like the way the non-sole slippers feel, it's just not right for me.

In unrelated crafty news, I've started crocheting up my first re-usable grocery bag made from grocery bags. So far it's not going bad, but crocheting with plastic bag yarn is quite different than anything I've ever worked with before, not horrible, but just different. Haven't really been able to get much done on it, but that's kind of expected at this point.

EDIT:
Well, so far it looks like another sleepless night. But at this point Munchkin is happily playing in her swing, I've got a load of laundry in the dryer and I'm about to finish the dishes and shine my sink.
I'm thinking of making a set of embroidered tea towels, one for each day of the week. I even have a cute lace crochet pattern to use for edging.

Below is the first five rows of the bag so far.

Day One

I made it through day 1, barely. I was missing a lot of the 'cleaning' materials that were suggested, and since I couldn't quite bring myself to meet my new neighbors by saying "hi, I'm your new neighbor, could I borrow a cup of bleach?" I think I got my sink looking pretty spiffy, all the hand washing is done, and the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher, which is actually finished now.
Although, I do need to re-start the washer, I've got some very very dirty cloth diapers, Munchkin had a gynormous blow-out earlier today, actually twice, only the second time I had her in a disposable diaper, so it was a little less laundry, although between the two blow-outs she dirtied up two different outfits, the blanket the diapers. My baby is a pooping machine. I suppose it's a good thing, because it means she's not constipated.
 It is after 1:30 am right now, and Munchkin is not sleeping for more than 20 minutes at a time in her crib. She did this last night too, I think we only got 4 hours of sleep, and the longest stretch of that was for two hours, when I caved and had her sleep in bed with me. One more try to get her down in the crib and then I will probably cave again, if I can get into the bed without waking her up. Right now she's enjoying the bean bag chair and a couple toys, smiling up at me when she looks up; even laughing. Sleep is for weaker babies, and she is not effected in a negative way which is actually a blessing at this point.

So it goes

Well, we're all moved in, mostly unpacked and starting tomorrow I will be doing my Day One of the FlyLady 31 day baby beginner steps. I'm kinda excited, the fun of starting something new, in a new place.
This new apartment already feels like home. Ber helped me hang up pictures today, and just had lots of fun today hanging out while our hubbies were both at work.
I'll probably head to bed soon, Munchkin hasn't been sleeping well tonight, so I should probably grab as much sleep as I can get tonight.

Moment of Weakness

Some days it's hard to feel attractive. Most people would think I feel that way mostly because of my weight, and they would be right. It's been pounded into my head that I need to be skinnier, to be healthier, but mostly to be beautiful.
Putting make-up on feels less like 'accentuating my features' and more like 'covering up my flaws' hiding my real face from people because they wouldn't like me on my own merits, I need something to make me more attractive to them.
Every day we put on our 'face' put on our 'armor' to get through the day, to deal with rude bosses, degrading comments and all the rest of the bull crap we deal with on a daily basis. My armor has chinks in it, from childhood teasing, middle school isolation, high school difficulties and just life being a dick. Almost every where I've spent significant time, be it a job or just a hang out where I've become familiar with people I'll get comments of "you would look gorgeous if you just lost 20 lbs or so" and the even more common one "you'd be so pretty if you just wore make up more often"
Maybe if I was more attractive in society's eyes I wouldn't have such trouble making friends, maybe people would like me then, and stay around instead of leaving when they get whatever they wanted from me. At this point in my life, in all the 25 years, the only people that have stayed in my life for more than two years is Husband and my family, I have no lasting friends that I've always been able to count on.

I know I'm throwing a little bit of a pity party but to me, life seems very lonely tonight. But tomorrow, I will get up, I will take care of my little Loki, and Husband and if you see me, you would never know the depths of my sadness from tonight.
We all wear masks, and I fear the day the cracks that have been developing in mine break.

New Goal

Is to write here every night (well night as in after Munchkin goes to bed) Although tonight I can't really think of anything to say. Didn't really do much today, was actually really lazy this morning, and didn't really get anything done till after Husband got home in the evening. But did get my evening checklist almost all done!
I really should go to bed now, as I'm sure Munchkin will be up bright and early, but I"m on the last three chapters of my book, so I'll be going to bed as soon as those are finished....probably.

So it starts...

Not my actual super wife training, that's not till July 1 or so, but D helped me make my very own control journal! (It's a Flylady thing that I'm quite excited about) I'm so excited for Husband to get home so I can show it off to him!
Speaking of Husband, he actually has two days off in a row this week! That's the first in almost 3 weeks now. So tomorrow will probably be a big packing/organizing day. And Wednesday is my Healthy Babies group, which is exciting, we only have group once a month now, so it seems like I never get to see the lovely ladies. I also haven't seen the ladies at Twist for a while, so I may try to make it down there on Thursday to see how everyone is doing and show off my pretty little Munchkin. (I bet she would love that the little ham)
But that is all for me today, and now I am going to take my little bit of free quiet time while Munchkin is sleeping to get on diablo before Husband gets home and play for a bit.

It's HERE!!!

My new computer is here! I'm so excited.
sadly I haven't set it up yet, because in order to do that I would need a power cord for my monitor, and since it was a dumpster dive special, either the cord is in the back of Husband's car, or I'll have to run to Walmart and see if they sell just the power cords, and I'll need to get the mouse out of Husband's trunk as well....but my keyboard is sitting on the desk all ready to be used!
We're moving in just over two weeks, and so my goal right now is to start going through the house doing so major decluttering/packing and minor cleaning. I've started in the entryway, going through the closet and from there I'm heading into the living room. It's amusing to me because most of Husband and I's 'stuff' is books. Other than that all we have are clothes and computer/gaming things. So it's kind of interesting to me how easy packing can be when I really get going on it, the problem is really getting going on it.
But Loki's down for her nap right now (thank the Lord!) and so I'm going to goof off for a little bit because if I start cleaning, the noise will wake her up almost instantly. Which in all honestly is a little annoying if you ask me, everyone says the only time you can get things done is while the kids are napping, well that just doesn't work to well for me most of the time...I remember when I used to be able to do dishes while Loki was asleep, but not anymore. as things stand I'm just very very happy that she's laying down for a nap, she's been having trouble sleeping during the day. I think her poor little teeth are bothering her, still no visual sign of them, but whenever she's having trouble sleeping I see her playing with her gums and chewing a lot, so it's been my best guess so far.
Now I'm just kind of blathering on about things now, and if I continue I won't have a chance to play Diablo 3...which I really would like to do. (and I can't wait to see it on my new compy! It's gonna look so amazing!!!)

Adios!

Superwife training!!

Many people know we are moving at the end of the month (yay!) And because of that move Husband and I are using this transition to implement some new parts to my training. It's all very exciting, especially since my friend D has a bunch of helpful hints that she's telling me to get us going. I'm quite looking forward to making my own house book.

But on the notes about the blog, one of my goals is to try to write everyday, and I have some topics in mind, I just need to make time to get upstairs to the computer to type it out. (it's pretty slow-going to do so on my phone.....like this post would have taken like twice as long, and that's just frustrating sometimes)
So hopefully will see everyone tomorrow!

I'm alive!

Just not posting much lately, hopefully will remedy that soon.

Any who, off to bed for me, and tomorrow off to see Dark Shadows with Ber for my birthday! (which is Monday, and poor Husband has to work from 6a-6p :( so hopefully we can celebrate some other day this week)

Silly Thoughts

* I have long hair...like really long hair, and ever once in a while I entertain the idea of chopping it all off. And then I remember how much I hated it when I had short hair.
* I've always wondered why zombies never eat each other.
* how do you train a sheep dog to herd sheep? Is it somewhat breed into them, or is it all trained.
* Why oh why do babies not want to sleep when they're so tired.
* What in the world is up with all these 16 and pregnant shows? Why are we encuraging this stuff?
* Why does it take so long to dry clothes as opposed to washing them....a person needs two washers in order to keep up with laundry for more than two people.
* I really want to learn how to punch someone through the tv....or better yet the internet. Some people just need a little pat on the head......hard.......with a hammer.

Friends are Friends Forever

I saw a picture the other day of three girls I went to high school with. The caption talked about how all three had been friends since 2nd grade and now they had daughters that were all less than 2 years apart. I don't have very many friends. Actually, I haven't ever really had that many friends. In elementary I had a lot of trouble making friends at all, and so I pretty much hung out with my sister and that was it, plus my books, and the computer lab teacher taught me how to crochet and cross-stitch during my lunch periods when I didn't want to go play alone. A real plus with the lab teacher was that she lived three blocks away from me, so after I started middle school I still got to visit her every once in a while.
Middle school was just such an awkward time for me, up until sophomore year I try to just block out...so I'm just not going to talk about it now.
In high school I really got to make friends and get to know people better. I had friends, but now, almost 6 years later, the only person I talk to that I went to school with is my sister. Yes I am Facebook friends with people, but that doesn't mean i talk to them about anything.
I do have the joy of having a few very close friends now, and I'm quite happy with my life. But I have always wondered what it would be like to have friends that have known me for that long, a friend like what Husband has.
It's kinda odd, but when I think of my friends I think of my family actually, and some of Husband's family, those are the people I think of when I have good news that I am just bursting to tell people about. My family is always there to celebrate with me, heck, when husband and I were low one of his family members told us that no matter what, if we lost our apartment she had two spare rooms one for us, one for Loki. And honestly, I have no clue what I would have done without my parents and their constant support not matter what silly/ridiculousness thing I've done. I may not have friends, but I have a damn good family.

And to be totally honest, that's even better than having good friends.

Ugh....really?

Complete lack of motivation lately. I'm not sure what's causing it, but it just makes it so hard to get any cleaning done. Plus I need to start packing up the 'non-essential' stuff for when we move in June. As for my list today I haven't done to horrible.

Dishes
*load
*run
*unload
Put away laundry
TABLE!!!
Shower


Although, I didn't really have much to do today, I did that on purpose, just to try to get myself back on track. Husband is helping with that, so it helps.

Dishes:
*fill
*run
*empty
*hand wash
Laundry
*fold
*put away
Clean table

Productive Day!!

Dishes:
*fill
*run
*empty
Laundry:
*fold
*put away
Trim Munchkin's nails
Make bread
Banana Bread
Call about new house

New Beginnings

At the moment I'm feeling fairly optimistic (I know, quite odd for me) It's just things are looking really up for us at the moment.
We've found our next place and if everything goes well we'll be staying there for more than a year. Husband's job is going well, and I'm starting to get set up for my own job. Even though it's been having quite a few hick-ups getting started, there's still this really positive feeling for everything going on.

Munchkin got her shots today, and it's always a little more of an easier day for me afterwards, because she sleeps so much. I've been checking on her about every 30 minutes for redness and fever symptoms, she's never had a reaction before, but I always worry especially when she sleeps so much, makes me feel uneasy even though it gives me a lot of time to myself.

Anywho, I"m off now, will try not to wait so long before I write again.

it's true

I'm a slacker....that is all


for now

Finally Friday

Balance Checkbook
Dishes
*fill
*run
*empty
Kitchen
*clean counters
*sweep floor
Dinner with Friends @ 4p
Crafting (10 rows for knitting, 5 rows for crochet) - minimum

Laundry day!

Go to Mother's in AfternoonLaundry
* gather
* wash
* fold
* put away
Dishes
* load
* run
* empty
Start Organizing Bookshelves


Didn't do the best today, but I was also gone a lot of the day. Munchkin has been quite fussy lately, which is wearing me down a little bit, thankfully Husband helps out a lot, especially when I'm getting really tired. Speaking of tired, I know everyone says "sleep when the baby's sleeping" do you have any idea how hard that is to do? Seriously...I would like to hit the person who invented that phrase with a book...a really big book, like Dances With Dragons or something....(good lord it's taking me forever to read that book, I'm kinda of ashamed of myself for that) but back to sleep, I am never tired when I put Munchkin down for the night, normally before midnight, tonight was a little later than normal, but still before one -so much nicer than those three am fussy nights- and I am just not tired, seriously, it's driving me crazy!
But because it's almost two in the morning I can't really get anything productive done because I'll wake up Husband, Munchkin or Roommate...so I goof off on the computer, watch Hulu, get some knitting/crocheting done.

Ugh, anyways, I'm gonna go lay in bed till I fall asleep.


I'm horrible about putting away the laundry...seriously, I'm really bad about it.

Productive today

Laundry
* fold
* put away
Dishes
* put away
* fill
Get Mail
Clear Table
Roommate to Doc in AM

Sometimes my brain worries me

if you've never heard of NaNoWriMo, it stands for National Novel Writing Month (held in November) and it's pretty much awesome. I tried to participate last year, but by the end of the first week Munchkin had decided she wanted to try showing up early again, and then two weeks after than she was born. Needless to say I didn't really get much done, the plot was kinda sketched out, girl gets kidnapped, kidnappers disappear one by one, she escapes only to find out why her kidnappers were disappearing, zombies.... and I hadn't actually gotten much further than that, I had the main questions etched out with answers, (i.e. How did the zombies come about, what type of zombie were they, how did they move, how did they die) Armed with those questions and answers, I was letting the novel develop itself from there.
Well ever since I gave birth, I've had this macabre thought dancing around in the back of my head....what if I had been bitten at the hospital? What would we do with Munchkin? If I could survive in the Zombie Apocalypse, we would be golden, because I'm her sole food source. So long as I'm around and alive we could keep Munchkin going, especially since she would have been small enough not to inhibit movement or slow us down to much.
And since my brain worries me so much, I have this need to write it down, almost convinced that will help me exorcise the macabre ideas eating at my brain. I'm going to start plotting out a bunch of short stories from the ideas and scenario buzzing around in my brain. And then when November rolls around again it should be much easier and more planned out so I can be more focused, even though I'll have an almost 1 year old at that point.

Oddities

I have a very odd aversion to water.

I know that sounds quite odd, but it's true. I've had this aversion since I was a child. Back then I would avoid the shower till my hair was to oily to ignore (I know, not the most pleasant thing, but my mother did what she could to keep me clean and not getting made fun of for my oddity)
I think in elementary school being made fun of for being chunky didn't help, but my mother did the best she could, and would normally talk me into bathing so she could do my hair, which I still love. It got better in middle school, because I had a friend that didn't always shower and she would sometimes smell of sweat, and I didn't want to have people make fun of me for that behind my back like they sometimes did to her.
It got a little worse in high school, but only because I had a problem with getting involved with a book until midnight and not wake up in time to shower in the morning.
But all that comes down to this, I finally figured out why I don't like showers, I have an odd aversion to water. I am unsure as to what started this, but it has been there for as long as I can remember. I just dislike the feeling of water on my skin. That being said, I love swimming, still want to go skinny dipping before I get to old, and occasionally enjoy a walk in the rain. (especially kissing someone in the rain, now that's fun ;~) )
Husband often teases me good-naturally about being a cat, and I always reply that I'm to nice to be a cat.

To head in a little sappier direction before closing this out... I have a completely awesome Husband. He makes a great effort to understand me, and we have learned to communicate very well over the past 4 years. Even his siblings have commented on his change in attitude and demeanor. But even with that they have very little contact with us. I wonder if they realize how much that will affect their ability to see Munchkin as she grows and starts to remember who the people around her are.

A rose's true form

Delicate situations bite ass
All i want to do is yell about the injustice
Get others on my side
Telling me i'm right
Not a bitch, just opinionated
That he lied

Cause he was mad
And i refuse to cry

But i must be quiet and demure
For he is always one step ahead and sure

A rose, his true form
Beautiful, sweet to the senses
But when touched wounded you will be
For no matter the skin, his words are sharper still

excuses...excuses

I didn't write down my list yesterday because it was Husband's birthday, and trust me, I did a lot of cleaning, and got my whole list done. Which made Husband very pleased with me, he said I was a very good girl, and he was proud of me, which made me grin like an idiot.

3/14

hand wash dishes
call/view apartments
fill dishwasher
gather all dirty clothes
fold one basket of clothes
get some crocheting done


I really need to get some crafting done, and work on getting my etsy site up and running again. Hopefully this time I'll get some things sold and be able to make some money on the side for us.

The New Beginning

3/12/12

empty dishes
tidy up table
shower
gather all dirty dishes
fold one basket of clean clothes
call tb about lanes
bed time routine

Now you may ask yourself why I would need to put something so simple as shower on my list. Well, wait till you have a child, and then you probably won't need to ask anymore.

New Ideas

Well, due to parts of my life changing, my blog is going to change as well. (especially since I can update this from my phone also, so hopefully that will help with these changes)

Husband assigns me a list (that I get to help assign my tasks) that I get done while he's at work and I take care of Munchkin. It's helping center me while dealing with the new stress and completely new routine taking care of Munchkin. I am a horrible creature of habit, and with the new baby it's completely disrupted that. So my lists are helping center me for the day, and also reminding me that I am serving my Husband.

What my goal is going to be is to put my list up every morning, well, morning as in when Munchkin decides it's time to get up. And cross things off as I go, along with little things of what has happened. I think it will be a nice way to me to get more used to writing again, and also working on getting more little routines going so I feel a lot more normal and settled. Cause evidently when I don't feel normal and settled I'm kind of a bitch, and I really don't like that, so it needs to change.

And it will!

To my cousin M

It's been almost two years since you were killed. I know I don't post on your Facebook wall or your memory page, and sometimes I feel like I'm not grieving right because of that. But if I remember right you weren't really on Facebook all that much anyways.
I also feel guilty because I don't think of you everyday. But I didn't think of you everyday when you were alive either. I do miss you M, in my own way. When I watch Fantasia with Munchkin I remember watching with you A and Ber, talking about our favorite musical parts. I don't remember yours, but I know A and Ber both loved the fish from the Nutcracker Suite.
I also remember playing at Grandma and Grandpa's, exploring the old barn, playing in the greenhouse, and Uncle's attic. A being the wise woman sending us all on quests. Going down to the barn for chores, playing with the kittens and newborn calves.
Sadly most of my memories are of our childhood. I do wish we could have gotten to know each other more as adults, but it's the human fault to think we have more time.
I do miss you M, in my own quiet way.

Good news everyone!

Husband has a job! Well, two actually. He's working as a part-time salesman, and a part-time driver for an auto store. I'm so very proud of him! And some of the best news is that if everything goes well I'll get to stay at home with Munchkin!