Nobody listens to my plans...

Especially Little Loki, but then of course, I suppose you can't get mad at a 10 month old for not listening to her mama's plans for the day. Eh, I just want to get her on a steady sleeping schedule so I won't have to worry about her waking up while I'm trying to take service calls.
Welp, I'm going to chillax and watch the end of my show and off to bed I go! (ha, I rhymed)

Well, that didn't go as planed.

I was able to work tonight, mostly because of Husband's help and willingness to stay up with Loki till she (finally) gave in and fell asleep. So I got through my two hour shift with no problems, it went rather smoothly, I wish I could always take hours at night. In fact, if the 1:00 slot would have been available  I would still be working right now. So after this I will be getting ready for bed and hopefully getting some sleep tonight.
My plan to get up at 9 yesterday morning was foiled by Loki as she woke up at 6....and didn't want to go back to sleep, I think we dozed on the couch a little bit, but all in all I was quite tired today. Hopefully Loki will be more agreeable tomorrow with the plan and I'll actually fell more rested and able to get things done around the house.
I have realized I am in desperate need of getting back on track with my daily and weekly routines...cause honestly, right now the house is kinda a wreck  now it won't take much time to fix, mostly due to my routines that I had been keeping up with, but right now I'm kinda embarrassed about it. And I think getting back on track with everything will not only help me feel better about the house, but will also give me more energy and help me feel more confident with work.

Oh! I've also gotten back into using myfitnesspal.com in order to try to start not only losing weight, but trying to eat a little healthier and get more exercise, Loki and I are going on daily promenades. And while we were out walking today we saw this on a car windshield and it just made me giggle.

But our walk went well, and I think Loki really enjoyed it, mostly cause she was able to kick her little feet as we were walking around. 

Well, I'm off for the night. Here's hoping Loki lets me get some sleep tonight. 

teething is stressful

Poor Loki right now, she just went to bed (which caused me to have to cancel all my hours I had planned to work tonight, which is kinda frustrating, but I mean what could I do really? I'll just have to make them up tomorrow night.) And so now I'm going to take a moment for myself, take a shower and go to bed.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to start something new for Loki, I will be getting up at 9 am, and waking Loki up by 9:15 or so, that way I have time to brush my teeth and get dressed before she wakes up, and also it will help promote healthy sleeping habits for Loki herself.
Here's crossing my fingers it all works out.

uuugggghhhhh

that is all

So long...I know.

I am still out here, just not having much time for fun computer time. I'll be honest, I'd never thought I'd say "I just want off the computer...can I do something else now?" but now that happens.
But, my class is finished next Monday, and I'll be able to working from 8-12 instead of just attending class (which will actually make my work schedule much easier to deal with, much less stressful for Husband having to deal with his work schedule, plus watching Loki while I'm in class and working)

But anyways, I'm forcing myself to have a bedtime, (well, it's 1:30, so that's quite late for most people, but I think it will work just fine for me, especially lately) So I'm going to sign off here and take the next 5 minutes to just goof off before bed.

Night!

Dear Sleep,

I know we don't talk much anymore. In fact, I've kind of been avoiding you. It's not you, it's Minecraft.
You've always been there for me when I needed you especially as a child. even when I didn't especially want to leave my book to spend time with you. Alway patient you are.
But I was just writing to say I'm sorry, I miss you and was wondering if I might be able to see you soon. Tonight maybe?

Waiting hopefully,
Heather

Shaken

I'm not sure what to feel right now, mostly I feel nothing. It's like I know it happened, but it doesn't quite feel like it happened to me. I suppose I'm still in emotional shock at the moment, which is odd, because now I've known for well over 12 hours what happened. It normally doesn't take this long for things to sink in, especially death. Maybe I've been over-exposed? 

Husband was wonderful to me today, after he got home from work he watched Loki for an hour so I could just lay down and rest, and when I got up, realizing what time it was we went to the Saturday night service at Hope. I think that was exactly what I needed. I felt much calmer and more myself I guess is the only word for it. 

I should be sleeping right now, but I just can't shut my mind off.

I will always treasure the memories I have going to Wisconsin and seeing my family. I want to keep the memory of Grandpa's voice in my head, the sight of him sitting at the table, always in the same spot at insanely early hours in the mornings with a cup of coffee in front of him. The smell of the breezeway, learning how to use a lathe.  Walking through the greenhouse with my sister and two cousins. Making up stories as we went, magic fairy tails. 

But mostly I want to remember that now M and Grandpa are both no longer in pain. That they are in a better place. And I hope one day to see them again, in a place of no more tears and no more sadness. 

For now, there are tears, and sadness, and joy at a long life and a man that will not be forgotten.