I know it's been a while....

I just had so much going on in my head that I haven't really been able to post any of it, because doing so would probably be a bad thing for certain relationships that are on the rocks already.

Anywho, this is mostly just to let everyone know that I'm not dead, and hopefully will be posting again soon.

A post in pictures and sarcasm

This is what you think of with the phrase "sleep like a baby"

Or this:

This one is also adorable:

But....

This is the correct definition of 'sleep like a baby:

and one last little piece of funny

(Husband actually helps out a lot, but still this picture makes me giggle)

Also, none of the above pictures are of my actual kids, like I could get them to sleep or sit still long enough to get a picture like this....

Yeah, my kids are pretty cute when sleeping. (Both pictures taken by my sister Ber, evidently they prefer to sleep for someone other than mama.)

The Adventures of Bug and Bean

I'm going to try and post more often, but a lot of times I cannot think of anything to say, so I'm planning on posting what I'm going to call 'the adventures of Bug and Bean' Bug is Loki's nickname within the family, and when Odin was born Ber declaired his name to be Bean.

Tonight we were planning on Husband giving Bug her bath while I fed Bean. Evidently Bug had other plans because when she heard the bath start running she grabbed the baby tub and took it into the bathroom so Bean could take a bath as well. 

I've given the kids a bath together a couple times, Bean just sits in his little tub and smiles at Bug the whole time, while she enjoys sharing her bath toys and attempting to assist me with washing him. I like it because Bean is to busy smiling and laughing at Bug to get upset when I wash his back or head. 

Husband helped me get Bean out and dried off, leaving Bug to play for a few moments, or so we thought. We turn around after putting a diaper on Bean to see Bug walk into the living room all wrapped up in her towel. 

Just another example of how fast my little LoveBug is growing up and how quickly she's learning how it interact with the world around her. 

Actively Passing

I know:
that she's suffering
she's in constant pain
she wants to let go

I want to tell her to fight
I wish to give her strength
To tell her to hold on
You can make it through this

But I know she can't.

I know:
she'll be in a better place.
she'll no longer be in pain
she'll be with the love of her life again

I know these things to be true
but it doesn't make it easier to know

she's going to die

I promise

I'll be posting a new update soon, it's just been rather hectic lately. (Which probably will be a continuing trend) But everything aside I am hoping to post a new update soon just to get everyone up to date and also to get some writing done.
All I've really had time to do is post a few things in my 'drafts' file from my phone as to things that I'm wanting to talk about.

Also, fun note, I think the word 'soon' just looks very odd. The word just looks like it's spelled wrong to me. I literally looked it up on Google to make sure I had the spelling right. (yes I know that's a little ridiculous, especially considering I could spell that correctly and wasn't sure about soon) 

A week of firsts

Big firsts going on this past week:

Odin smiled for the first time in response to Husband or I (twice in a row even) on Monday night

Loki used her potty chair for the first time Thursday night

Husband had his first few days as a stay-at-home dad (and did awesome)

I got the new experience of pumping at work (not the highlight of new experiences but it was interesting) 

In more domestic news:

Husband has been doing a good job keeping the chaos under control at home while I've been out. Plus I help by having a menu up for dinner so Husband doesn't have to guess what to make. I was also able to make up 4 manicotti  freezer meals, 2 as the recipe says and 2 I made with ground beef included in the mix. So hopefully those will taste good (that's dinner tonight) I also had success with a first in our house, homemade enchiladas they are delicious! It'll even work as a freezer meal so long as I get some freezer pans in the right size. (Now I really want enchiladas, they are just delicious! Even good reheated) 

One Whole Month! (well a little bit extra)

Odin is over a month old! It's quite amazing actually, Husband says it seems like it's been longer than that, but I actually disagree, it feels like no time has gone by at all. Poor tiny boy still fit into his newborn things until a few days ago. Although mostly he wore the newborn zip up pajamas, a) because they're a little easier to get him into than a onesie and pants b) they keep him warm well c) most of the onesies that fit him are short sleeved and if I'm getting cold in a sweater I'd be worried about him being cold in the little short sleeves. Although to be honest, I'm cold when I shouldn't be lately, everyone says it's just my body adjusting to not being pregnant anymore, I think I'm just losing my love for the cold, which I find sad.
It feels good to see he's finally gaining some heft to himself so he's able to wear more than just his newborn jammies. He looks like he's growing up so much in his little onesie pants combo outfits! Oh how fast the time goes.
Odin's also started (mostly) sleeping through most of the night. He will normally go to bed a little before Loki's bath, then sleep till around midnight or 1, and then he wakes up for a feeding, and normally wants to stay away until 2:30 or 3, depending on how awake he's feeling. But all in all, I'm doing okay with this, it just takes me a few minutes to actualy feel human in the mornings when I'm expected to do the whole 'walking talking taking care of a two-year-old thing.' But hey, at least he's sleeping for extended periods of time instead of just like 2 hours at a time!
We're currently looking for a new family doctor, partly because I feel as if we're taking advantage of the system of GraceMed because we have insurance now and also because I grew up going to the same doctor until after I was 21, I would like that for my kids as well. Consistency has always been my friend. Going to make more calls around tomorrow and see if anything looks good. We've gotten lots of suggestions from friends that I need to check out, so hurrah for friends helping me out.

Right now I'm getting all set to go back to work tomorrow, and so I've been pumping more often, not only in preparation to do it more often, but to let Husband have some experience bottle feeding Odin while I'm at home to help if need be. But they are both doing so well I haven't really been needed other than to keep Loki in line.
I am a little anxious as to how pumping at work is going to go. If not for my plans to pump tomorrow before I go in I would already have everything packed up in my little bag and ready to go, as is I've got most of it packed up and ready, or at least all the parts are gathered together for easier packing.