Justified Reasons for Mariticide*

I love Husband very much, and I feel that fact is well known and easily seen by our friends, however I find myself contemplating (as I was washing the numerous bottles and breast pumping apparatus) his untimely demise. You may be asking yourself  'what in the world would bring a loving wife to want to kill her husband?' I'll tell you, in one word: books.

In many words: 

Husband has a habit of picking up whatever book I'm reading and either starting from the beginning (not normally a problem) or just turning to a random passage and starting to read. His latest transgression was picking up my book while I was doing the washing and starting to read. He -thankfully- started at the beginning, but this is the second book in the series! Even after I offered to get him the first book he kept reading! Now if nothing else he deserves punishment for that, but what he did next got my blood boiling. He put the book down, and said he was done, and he didn't even finish it!  Nor will he be reading the first in the series! 

And this is not his first transgression, nor the worst. That would be Husband's dealings with the Harry Potter Series. 

He watched:

Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

then he READ:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Then he watched:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 1

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt 2

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 

I almost killed him. 

*Now this being said, I am not condoning murder, that is quite a naughty thing to do. However, I am just telling my side of the story if Husband was to ever have an unfortunate accident. (He'd have it coming, especially if he was found with a book anywhere near him, as it probably was being read out of order)